3. The happy loss of my nemesis. (the parrot.)

Well I told you already about couple that just wouldn't listen to me. And the dang parrot that wouldn't shut-up.

 Now the parrot was a sly one. When he talked, the couple would say "good job Polly dear!"
(I said they should call her la dumbo, but they wouldn't listen.) 
And when I spoke up they smiled at me and went on with whatever they had been doing. (Most times congratulating Polly dear.)

Anyway. I got to thinking, and I came up with the most evil plot ever created by dog. But, it wouldn't work. (It would have to involve the couple getting so mad that killing the bird would be thought rational.)

I thought on.


Of course, I had to just bear it while Polly stuffed her face. But he-he, all good things come to an end. I'm glad to say.
One day we where all eating our food. The couple eat at the table, Polly siting on her perch. And me siting sulking on the floor thinking about how good roast parrot must taste like.

2. beginnings

I was born in Gutenberg Iowa. Your probably thinking that Gutenberg Iowa doesn't exist. But it does.

I don't know who my mother was, but I do know that I was at a pet shop, and there was a parrot that was driving me crazy! Finally I was bought by a couple who where just married, and they wanted someone to watch the house while they where at work. I said they should not take the two for one deal and get the parrot two. They didn't choose very wisely.

On the way home they where talking on whether or not they should have me and the parrot in the same room or not. Again they chose the bad way.

when we finally got to there apartment they had a bunch of trouble, because they lost the key... and they wouldn't listen to me.

They just would't check under the "welcome" mat. I said "maybe you should check under the mat!" The husband smiled at me and said he should check in his left pocket (he had already checked his right.) I said "maybe you should check under the mat!" The wife smiled at me and then said she should check in her purse. And after three hours, they at long last thought "Why didn't we think of the mat!" I said that I had thought of that. They both smiled at me and opened the doors.

This was only the beginning of my troubles.  

1. Call me Norman

Hello my name is Norman. I'm not the best at introductions so I'll try to make this brief.

I'f you can here me now you probably found the letter I sent in that bottle. But what you probably don't know about me is that I'm a dog.

But don't just throw this away! You need to hear my miraculous story about how got this letter to you in the first place. And how I can write. And how I can think for that matter.

This is the story of me.

Norman, man's best friend.